ballerina princess

I LOVE this outfit...
forgive the blurry arms...she rarely stops moving...

loving her Christmas present!

I can't believe how big she looks in it... :(

happy Christmas!

at the mall

seriously don't know what it is about the mall with this girl! lately
shes been sleeping no more than 30 minute naps in the daytime and
making her mom crazy! but today at the mall...2.5 hrs straight. then,
just watched the goings on from her stroller. of course, she would NOT
look at her mama. so very much else to see...!

I think we have a thumb sucker...

something about it...

something about dressing my baby girl in her auntie JoJo's old clothes makes me tear up every time! it feels like yesterday that jordy was wearing them and shes such a big girl now! ,makes me sad cuz i miss that baby, happy cuz my Lydia has her for an auntie and example, sad cuz Lydia grows too fast... the list just goes on...

i have so many memories of jordy in this dress...

plus, that was baby jordy's bouncy seat... its sure held a lot of precious babies since then!

i wish i had known...

i wouldnt have bought all those presents! haha. too late. Lydia has the best aunties... :)

good morning!

just another Sunday at church :)

after a walk

the mall

Lydia and I had a quick trip to the mall today. I DREAD these because
this girl doesn't like her carseat and doesn't love strollers...so
usually my stroller becomes a shopping cart while I hold her. but
today, she spent half the time sleeping and the other half she spent
smiling. what a relief to this mama. crazy how much she is changing
and growing! or maybe she just loves the mall...? uh oh...

auntie christy

so glad the Sugus surprised us for thanksgiving. even if she screamed
a LOT from all the chaos, Lydia LOVED meeting her cousins...and
especially her auntie :) come back soon!

first thanksgiving

this is how our Lydia spent her first thanksgiving meal...and I, of
course, ate standing up. this girl will NEVER let me put her down!

bath time

Lydia just LOVES the bath!!! she did this for almost 45 minutes
straight. it makes me laugh so hard! I kept waiting for her to want
out...but nope. mom had to call it quits when I got tired...

talking talking talking...

this one's for the girls...

when i first got pregnant, i was terrified it was going to be a boy. don't get me wrong... there is nothing wrong with boys. i love boys. i love little crazy boys. i love the wild stories and the messes. i just don't envy the mothers of little boys! they climb and punch and my brain just doesn't understand the way they think. i envy the mothers of big boys because there is something special about the way boys love their moms. but i'm terrified of raising boys! i like dolls. i like to paint nails and bake. i like pink and dresses and sparkly shoes. i think boys will be a challenge for me...although i am sure i will fall in love with my boys if the time ever comes that we have one. but as i thought more and more about what it would be like to have a kid, i was just really really hoping for our first baby to be a girl. and i couldn't exactly figure out why!? then, one day i realized what it was. not only do i love girly things like tea parties and pretty pretty princess parties, but i love the whole experience of life as a girl. i love the incredible bond that girls can have with each other. i have been so blessed all my life with incredible girl friends. they have helped shape me and strengthen me in ways i never knew i could grow. i come from a great family of all sisters and i love the relationships i have with them. they are the greatest examples and friends to me. and i think of the way that i feel about my mom and it amazes me that someday someone could love me and look up to me that much. i hope that i'm a great mom to my Lydia the way my mom was and is to me. (Totally not to discredit the men in my family... i will always be grateful for my dad too. i have so much love and respect for him. and Dave is my strength. my best friend and the love of my life... that's just thoughts for another post...) There is just something about the connection that girls can have that makes me so grateful for my little Lydia.

now that i'm an adult, i realize that my best friends really are my family. and i'm so grateful for them. I want Lydia to have the great experiences i had. I want her to be close to her grandmas and to be able to know all about their lives and loves the way I do about mine. I want her to have opportunities to be close to her cousins and siblings the way I am with mine. I want her to love her family and want to be with them. I am excited for the adventures of being a mom to a little girl. I am terrified for the teenage years when she yells and doesn't tell me every day that she loves me and i wonder constantly if i'm doing the right thing. but i'm SO excited for the times when she realizes how much i love her and that i would do anything for her. for the phone calls home from college when she realizes how much she really does need me. i'm just excited for the end when she is my friend.

so now that i have my girl, i'll take whatever comes next (no...not anytime soon... i'm just sayin in the long run...)

squishy face!

more and more

and I thought I didn't get anything done before...now all I want to do is sit and make her smile...

getting better...

so very smiley. mom just struggles to catch it on camera cuz she wants to just stare at it!

hAppy biRthdAy gRANdmA!

Today is my grandma's birthday. I sure wish I could call her to tell her I'm thinking of her. I miss her every day, but sometimes I just cry thinking about how much I learned from her. I was so blessed to have her in my life. I sure wish she could have met and held my baby Lydia...so grateful to know that someday she can. she sure was a cute kid, huh?

a little lioness

since I was a bad first time mommy and didn't take pics of lydia's first Halloween...here's a picture of her costume from her grandma's phone

the happiest baby on the block

if you have a newborn and haven't watched it, rent it ASAP. changed our life! our Lydia was already the perfect baby and she just got better because of that video!

Happy Halloween Week

it starts

the tail end of a smile at her mom. 4 weeks old!!!

wow

from screaming to this in a matter of seconds! this girl LOVES the water. I now know why she was slow to come out! :)

just chatting...

hahahaha

struggling!!

she's not quite sure if she wants to wake up...

sleep feels so good!

so last night, i fed Lydia at 10:15 and put her down for the night. she took a minute to go to sleep, which is kinda unusual...and i got scared. i thought "uh oh. it's gonna be a rough night." so when i heard her fuss a little bit at 3:30, i was super excited that she had made it that long. but she didn't cry, so i waited...and apparently fell asleep! because the next time i heard her, i thought it was a few minutes later only to open my eyes and it was 6:15 in the morning! i couldn't believe it!!! a whole 7 hours of sleep for me! it was fantastic! granted, she usually gives me that long in 2 stretches, but how fantastic does it feel to sleep that much at one time.
i am well aware that this is not always going to be the case, but it is just a huge testimony to me that the sleep habits we are working on building are working! When Lydia was about a week old, i read the book "on becoming Babywise" and decided to jump right in. it makes me sad to wake her once in a while during the day to feed her, but these incredible nights of sleep with a 3 week old baby make it ALL worth it! I'm so not to the point where i could let her cry herself to sleep or put herself down yet. i just love holding her and snuggling her to sleep and will continue to do so until she is ready to do it herself. but it is so cool to see how secure she is in her simple schedule. she eats, then she is awake and alert for a while, and then she starts to close her eyes and falls asleep on me. i just love it!
i just had to document this day so that i can remember it someday when she is wide awake all night and makes me crazy. she's such an angel and as much as i HATE her getting bigger and learning new things, i love to see that i can do things to help her learn the right things since she's gonna do it anyway. :)

loving auntie jojo

baby bjorn

a LIFESAVER for the mama whose baby just loves to be held! we play and
talk...then she just passes out :)

a little bit humorous...

so i decided that this little girl loves her mom. :) for my birthday, she gave me the BEST present! she slept 6 and a half hours straight...woke up to eat... and then slept for another 4 hours. Granted, she has been a GREAT night sleeper (usually two 4 or 5 hour stretches) and regularly goes 2 and a half to 3 hours between eating in the day...but this was a HUGE stretch! i was so excited! i love my sleep! but the best part of the story was that when she DID wake up to eat, i changed her poopy diaper. just as i snapped up the last snap on her onesie and pulled her nightgown down over her cute little feetsies, her face turned bright red and she pooped again. i just started to laugh so hard and i changed her again.
It just made me realize how grateful I am that she's sleeping for me. I know we'll have hiccups in the road, but i loved that i could laugh at her being so wasteful of diapers and my sleeptime at 4am. :) I am grateful that I can really enjoy this stage of her life because i'm not exhausted. Don't worry, I'm plenty tired, but not like i expected to be. I'm just loving this little girl and all that it means to be her mom!

loving the paci...

I always said I'd force my babies to take a paci. I realize now that's
not something you can force...but I'm SO glad she loves it when she's
tired...although I'm convinced she thinks she has her fingers...

making a ghost face

just hanging out with mom

I LOVE that this onesie fits her so cute!

my little hippie...

out for our first walk in her stroller

SHE LOVED IT!!! and so did her mom and dad!

all clean!

working so hard to find her thumb...

loving that it's raining!

I love having an excuse to do this ALL day...

the details - all of them...

so i have had a few people want the full story. since typing has become a one-handed endeavor, i really only want to do it once... so here it is. fair warning...its all here. haha.
so we had decided that if this girl didnt come before october 1st, we would go ahead and induce her out. october 1st was daves birthday and we figured it was a great day to be born. however, i was having serious trepidations about inducing and kept trying everything i had ever heard to get her out! since later babies have an increased risk of meconium in their amniotic fluid (which just means they injest all the late term shed hair etc and then poop it out...) they are also at an increased risk for horrible pneumonia (because they then breathe in said poop...gross i know!)however, we had worked so hard for so long to keep things natural and i really wanted a natural delivery if possible! so friday, i had my midwive strip my membranes (yeah...SUPER unpleasant...). she said that doesnt always help, especially on first pregnancies. but she also said she was SUPER rough so maybe this baby would get a clue and start making her way here. at that point, i was 3 cm dialated and 75 % effaced. so we were hopeful. but by sunday, i was getting a bit discouraged. with fridays appointment for induction scheduled, i started to get scared. 9 + months of being level headed just to get scared at the last minute! so i did yoga for 2 hours saturday and spent 2 hours monday (which happened to be the HOTTEST day of the year thus far!) at the gym walking and biking hills. i slept SO well that night :) but still no baby! so tuesday morning around 10 am, i felt something weirdy...like a wiggle that made me feel a lil sick. but it went away so i ignored it. then i felt another one a while later. so i figured that was a good sign! i had an appointment at the midwives to monitor her and make sure all was well so i figured i'd have the midwife sweep my membranes once more for good measure. baby looked good and the midwife said i was almost 4 cm and ready so she was optimistic. then, on the drive home, i started feeling contractions that were a little painful. i called dave at work and gave him a heads up. it was 3 pm and he had class so i told him to go and id call him if i needed him home. by 4:30, my contractions were about 15 min apart and i had to stop whatever i was doing to breathe through them...but they were still bearable. suddenly, about 5:30, they jumped from 15 min apart to 7 min apart. thats about when dave got home. he walked in and asked if we were gonna watch a new movie and i responded with "probably not. i think we're having a baby."
since traffic was yucky, we figured we could take our time. my friend brittany just had a baby a few weeks ago and her advice had been "use hydrotherapy!" (best advice EVER!) so i figured i'd take a shower. that felt so good! but also made the contractions come way more often!!! so they were between 4-6 min apart. we decided to go for a walk and encourage them. holy smokes! longest walk of my life! every ten steps we had to stop to breathe through another contraction! it was crazy!!! so we headed to the hospital. dave was on top of everything. loading up and taking care of me! he brought me some snacks and a popsicle - which helped keep me calm. i read a book that talked about how the attitude of mom can make or break a birth experience for all. i sincerely believe that! at first, i could see dave tense up...not with fear, but with the desire to meet my every need. so we joked around between a few contractions and that calmed us both down. he was so amazing. being where i needed him when i did and meeting my needs before i asked.
the drive to the hospital took about 30 minutes but i'm not gonna lie, the only part i really comprehended was the 15 minutes where i counted 6 contractions. we got there and slowly made our way upstairs. worst thing i remember about the whole experience was probably the contraction i had in the elevator!!! holy smokes! if you've ever been to ucsd in hillcrest, you know what i mean. their elevators are like roller coasters!!!
so we got to the birth center and got checked in. i was at 5 cm but 100 % ready. apparently this little girl had her head tipped at the wrong angle so she wasnt fully dropping. so the midwife told me to rock my hips a bit. i got on a bouncy ball and did just that. holy smokes, that hurt like crazy! probably because it was working. haha. but dave was there to hold my hand and squeeze my back to relieve pressure. about this point, our doula, Nancy, got there and helped us out. holy smokes, was she a blessing! she knew where to push and when. she had aromatherapy. she had such relaxing music, and she had such a positive attitude. with her there, dave was able to hold my hand and remind me to breathe...which is exactly where i needed him!
at that point, i asked the nurse to fill the tub and i got into the shower while it filled up. once again, incredible! not that the pain was better, but it truly is impossible to tense your body when youre in warm water! so its much easier to invite the contractions instead of fight them...which actually makes them hurt less! i promise! i'm not sure how long i was in the shower before the tub was full...but the contraction i had while moving from one to the other was worse than any i had had up until then. once in the tub, things got real intense! i had moments in the peak of a contraction where i was done. i could see why people would want to be numb. but i love that we chose to deliver in a birth center if for no other reason than tat i would have to transfer downstairs to get any medication. and that involved an elevator ride. NO WAY. ;) so i just cried and breathed through one contraction at a time. and i had the best coaches on my side. dave holding my hand and breathing with me. nancy telling me i could do it and Rita, my midwife telling me i was a "rock star..." (seemed fitting at the time...) all of a sudden, i felt like i could push so nancy went to get the midwife to stay. Rita came in and asked if i wanted her to check me. i told her no because i dint want to hear that i was at like 7 cm!!! oh man. that would have broken me. but then, on my next contraction, i felt this pop and said "i think my water just broke!" what a weirdy feeling that was! like a water balloon! Rita looked at it and got worried. they saw meconium in the water and my baby's risks went up. on that next contraction, i felt the urge to push. so after it was over, Rita checked me and i was so ready. WHAT A RELIEF! since this baby was coming, they couldnt transfer me to be monitored and instead called up the pediatric team so they could check her right away. at ucsd, they never take your baby from your room. instead, they wheeled in all they needed so they would be ready when she was.
so i moved to the bed and got to pushing her out. what a great experience! to actually feel progression and know you're SO close to holding your baby!!! i didnt have to push long...wish i could say i remembered how long...or not... but at the end, just when i thought i couldnt go on any more, i heard daves voice above the other coaching around me. he whispered to me 'i can see her! shes right there!" and i knew i could finish! and out she came! the pediatricians had to check her first (yeah kinda glad i hadnt realized there were 6 extra people in the room...) but brought her back within moments because her lungs were fine and she was healthy. i could hear her and dave was with her so i didnt mind. i was just relieved she was out and okay!
what an incredible feeling...to hold that baby girl! she was so alert and i just couldnt stop laughing! we were awestruck and in love with her instantly.
so...long story short. At 11:59 on Tuesday, September 28, 2010, our little Lydia Kay Kunz was born. She is perfect and healthy and such a little miracle.
i know it sounds crazy, but i loved everything about her arrival. the pain was intense, but i honestly thought it was going to be worse than it was. I loved where we delivered. I loved the people that helped us along the way. and i loved that this baby came safe and on her own.
so now, we are home and adjusting to life with a family of 3 instead of 2. what a crazy adjustment, but so much fun. we are loving her little noises and faces and all of the "firsts" that a baby brings with her.
and when i get a minute... i'll get some pictures of the big day up. but i think i hear someone waking up... :)

crossed legs

apparently this is why I was pushing her knees in for the last 2
months. any time he can, her legs are in this position. so so cute!

late celebration

i didnt get to post a picture on the first of october because i wanted to post this picture and it was on my camera. funny how getting on the computer can take such effort all of a sudden!! haha. friday was dave's birthday. we came home from the hospital thursday night and figured we'd spend the day at home. i kept telling dave that he got to pick what we were going to do for the day... but all he wanted to do was sit and hold his baby. its amazing to see the man you love fall for something so small!

the first full night in the hospital after she was born, Lydia had a rough night! she was awake crying for a good 6 hours straight. didnt want food...just awake and upset. she cried so much her little voice was hoarse. it made me so sad! but since i hadnt slept in 36 hours...AND had a baby in that time, dave took full time cry duty. i kept dozing off and would wake up and ask if he needed help and he told me to just go back to sleep. what a trooper! especially for a first time dad. i finally got up at 4 to find him dozing in a rocker with the little munchkin finally sleeping on his lap. it made me think of all the patience and love this little girl will always get from her dad. and i was overwhelmed with grattitude for the love he has for us both. so just a small (late) tribute to the perfect husband for me and the greatest daddy for our little girl. here's to a great year!

after a little bathing

because she's SO cute!

gonna try for a picture a day for a while to appease her far away
family. here's a super cute one we took yesterday. :) we are going
home tonight so I'll be sure and get some more up with her deets
tomorrow when I can get my pictures from my camera :)

she's heRe!!!

and we are all well and SO very happy!

stiLL heRe

so lots of people have asked... so just so you know, we're still here and still very much pregnant. This little lady is late but we're okay with it. :) We're just glad she's healthy and growing stronger by the minute. For those who don't know, Dave was born 3 weeks late so I've figured from the beginning that she wouldn't be in a rush. She's apparently got some of her daddy in her...which i'm DEFINITELY okay with! Other than that, I don't really have much to update with other than a few pictures my friend Susan took for us. She's so so so very talented and even though it is SO weirdy to actually see pictures of myself pregnant, she did an amazing job! So here's something to keep you occupied until i can update with pictures of this little lady someday (hopefully!)

hopefully our next post will tell you that she's here...

i guess i shouLd bLog...?

lately, i just haven't been feeling in the blogging mood! i feel like so much is changing so fast! but at the same time, nothing is really new! you ever get that feeling? haha. so i keep waiting around for something to happen that is blog-worthy, but then i remember that life is in the day to day. so, sorry for the boring update post with no pictures (sorry... no camera near by). haha. all we've been up to lately is getting our lives ready for the arrival of this little lady, so i'll just update you on a few of the things we've been doing.
first, everyone asks "do you have your baby's room all ready?" haha. one word answer. NO! when we first found out i was pregnant, i knew that meant i was going to have to pull all the boxes out and condense everything. unfortunately, i was so sick from day one, (well, week 4, to be exact) that i was largely confined to lying down and that process took MUCH longer than it should have! i finally took a weekend in june to gut the spare room and paint the walls. what a task! (a task that has been waiting since we moved in...) and i had to stop after each wall because i got so nauseated! oh the joys. :)
but, since i didn't want all the baby stuff we needed to be one big financial weight at the end, i have been buying stuff along the way as i found good sales. (seriously, an awesome way to go! i found SUCH great deals on craigslist and in stores that i was able to get exactly the things we wanted without feeling like the cost was going to kill us!) between that and our fantastic family and friends, we've got most of the big stuff covered. so i have spent a few hours every weekend getting that all organized (into piles later to be re-organized, of course, once everything gets setup). haha. so that is where we are at with that. and i am counting down my days at work so i will be able to finish that up in the few weeks before she comes.
another question i get all the time is about how i'm feeling, so i'll sum that one up. honestly, i have been sick from day one and it still hasn't gone away. it's let up quite a bit over the last month or so, but we are down to one month left and when it's not sick stomach, it's heartburn. but i have to admit, being at the tail end of it all has made me a much happier person! i realize that it is all worth it whenever she knees me in the ribs or has the hiccups. everyone told me the end would be the hardest, but i'm actually feeling the best i've felt yet... one month left and i'm sure i'll be getting that uncomfortably huge feeling soon.
but this little lady is healthy and that's all that we care about! it's amazing how you really can get through anything when you trust that it's for a purpose. we did have one little bump in the road when we heard that her ultrasounds looked like she had some kidney problem, but our midwife assured us that it almost always goes away (it totally did). the positive side of that was that we got to have an ultrasound again at 33 weeks. wowee! was that ever great! the first thing the technician said was "did you know that your baby has a ton of hair?" (um, how were we supposed to know that? haha) she showed us on the screen and it was crazy that she really does have hair on her head! and that you really can see it in a picture! so this is definitely dave's baby. hehe. he was born with a FULL head of curly blonde hair! i, on the other hand, was totally bald so it will be SO fun to see what she comes out looking like! oh yeah, and according to the ultrasound, one foot measured 6.9 cm. um, that HAS to be wrong? that's HUGE! we didn't get a final total size measurement so i have no idea, but wowee. she's gonna be tall. :)
we have been having our classes at the birth center the past few weeks and we are just getting super excited. we LOVE where we have chosen to deliver and we love our midwives. after the first class, we were both a little freaked out and dave's response to me at the end of the class was "i'm so sorry," but since then, we have felt more and more prepared. dave has been working hard to be ahead/caught up with work and his masters so that he can give us girls his full attention when the time comes.
in between all the crazy preparations, we are just loving this stage of our marriage. it is so neat to go through things together and realize that it is actually possible to love eachother more! we are SO grateful to be able to become parents and so excited for everything that is coming our way. we know it will be hard, but is there anything out there worth having that ISN'T hard!?

OH. MY. GOSH.

definitely a bit of spoiling action in this preview... but OH. MY. GOSH. this mama is peeing her pants and crying at the same time. i cannot wait! if you can't find me come november, it's because i'm doing some reading in preparation... sure hope this little lady will cooperate!
http://www.mugglenet.com/trailer.php

joRdy's biRthdAy

Okay, to finish out the past month, we had a birthday party for the jordster. seriously can't believe she is 12! time goes by SO fast! we had SUCH A FUN PARTY! of course, it was a pool party. :) AND we tye-dyed shirts! SO MUCH FUN!hattie helped. :)and dave and i made onesies!then, since chex was involved in the party planning, of course there was a messy event. :)but jordann got attacked with the majority of the mess. :) guess that's what happens when you're the birthday girl!
Happy Birthday Jordann! we sure do love you. :)